we have pet lesbian snakes
what day is it and did you see me today?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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