hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
