Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
