Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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