the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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