I want to stick my p in your. b.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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