he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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