so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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