We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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