whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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