i barfeds in our rink
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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