My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just cut my nipple shaving
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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