she woke up with a sticky ear
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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