So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
