why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
