I didn't shave. On purpose
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We have started to decorate penises.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
