She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
