things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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