Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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