Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
