I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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