I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
