I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
