Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
