I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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