she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I will pee on everything he values.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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