someone get that fucking seahorse.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
