Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I came so hard my ears popped.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
