I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
