Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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