but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
