You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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