I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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