We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
