It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
