Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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