how can u be prego again
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He better not be in your backpack
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
