Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
