i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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