Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize