Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
