that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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