I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
