They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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