thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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