so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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