well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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