? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just forgot I was standing up.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize