haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
