So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
3pm strippers are depressing
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
