so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
