ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
