You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Randomize
