Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i think i have herpe
just one?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
