Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
