I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
