WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
