he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
