He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?