google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!