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I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
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