Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.

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(302): I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long. http://tfl.nu/8u3p

Replies (59) Good night (3497) Bad night (1392)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.

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(618): I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments. http://tfl.nu/a8pg

Replies (8) Good night (6143) Bad night (1272)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.

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(608): I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her. http://tfl.nu/mczp

Replies (28) Good night (2838) Bad night (12329)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...

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(413): thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover... http://tfl.nu/lbcp

Replies (7) Good night (1144) Bad night (3376)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I feel like my teeth are sweating.

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(970): I feel like my teeth are sweating. http://tfl.nu/98tq

Replies (9) Good night (1257) Bad night (2240)
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(231): View more from Michigan

Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?

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(231): Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often? http://tfl.nu/yhxm

Replies (4) Good night (1837) Bad night (697)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home

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(505): I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home http://tfl.nu/ti9z

Replies (5) Good night (635) Bad night (1108)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.

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(570): Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan. http://tfl.nu/2zix

Replies (4) Good night (1151) Bad night (589)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?

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(423): This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean? http://tfl.nu/py5a

Replies (5) Good night (574) Bad night (957)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...

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(615): Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers... http://tfl.nu/ugq8

Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (445)
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(714): View more from California

Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.

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(714): Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday. http://tfl.nu/bnh5

Replies (1) Good night (1484) Bad night (394)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.

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(701): If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times. http://tfl.nu/s20h

Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (376)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.

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(651): This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline. http://tfl.nu/s47z

Replies (0) Good night (497) Bad night (799)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.

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(304): When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/a3k2

Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (717)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.

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(+44): I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff. http://tfl.nu/4dhc

Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (337)

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