I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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