And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
