Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
